Let’s go

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Windhoek Sunsets

Windhoek Sunsets

Born to be color blind

Forced to embrace a history we both dislike

Justified by forgiving but not forgetting

To keep us armed on the look out

Some get paranoid, go crazy whilst on patrol

We showed them once before

How far the teen spirit is willing to go

Just how loud we can get when you muffle our whispers

Never felt more alive

Than when we huddled around absorbing what was

Which on  countless measure helps us understand what is, the canvas for what will be

Overdosed on nostalgia on days people choose to remember

The African child in our own light

Happily holding hands with the rest of the world

We are allowed to indulge in our own uniqueness

Enough about protocol

All I want is to lay down with pride

And gaze upon the stars of diverse cultures

That paint our skies different shades

As a gentle breeze blows filled with beautiful voices

Singing in different languages I do not understand but feel

I close my eyes and let the rhythmic wind lullaby me to ease

Appreciating the open space that lets us play our freedom song

Accepting that we are all singing the same song just a different tune

Celebrating that we are painting the same picture with different colors

Allow yourself to lay down with me and proudly embrace this heritage.

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I never had a picture

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This coming April will make it three years since I last saw you. I remember I was doing my lower six and I only had four points to my name that term. I prepared myself for a lecture of a lifetime, mainly because I knew you knew I knew that it was you that deposited my fees just in time for me to get an A-Level place. Instead you just shrugged and pointed out that I was intelligent and things would get better in time. You had no doubt I would pass my exams when it mattered. I had no idea that was the last time I would see you, three years and counting ain’t a joke hey. I do not know if you will even recognise me in a crowd. When mother visited me in boarding school she always brought with her news bout you, like when you brought over your new car, how you went with your then girlfriend to visit Gogo. I always bragged about you to my friends, my brother, the university graduate and more in the making, but I never had a picture to show for it.

Remember that time when I was still by St Dominic’s and the term had just ended, you came to our drop off spot in 4th street to give me money because it was Mother’s intention that I sleep over by Babamukuru’s home in Waterfalls. I begged and pleaded with you not to send me there, even though it was mother’s explicit instruction, you snicked me into your university hostel, made me supper and later on you sent me over to the girl’s hostel to spend the night. The next morning you took me to get a bus get home, I was so grateful, but yet again I do not have a picture to show for it.

Almost every holiday towards the end of it, you wired me some tuck money, sometimes without me asking, even when I knew things weren’t going all that great for you; you ensured I always went to school with the essentials. I always knew you were a phone call away. Remember towards my final exams and I told you I was stressed out and you told me that you knew I would figure out a way out of the dark space. Throughout the years I have thought that the day will come when I could repay you; but you still make sacrifices for me, so unfortunately I do not see that chance rising in the horizon. Maybe one day you will need a kidney or something, I will be a phone call away, with a camera ready so that the moment is never lost. You may think I have forgotten but I would not be here without your big heart. And yes I still do brag about you to my friends.

Chasing our dreams has played its fair share in separating us, I was in school during your graduation ceremony, worst part being when I missed your wedding. To witness you finally get the happiness you deserve. I saw the wedding pictures and videos and I finally have a picture to show just how great life turned out for one of my heroes. Live life and do not hold back, you deserve all the joys ahead of you.


 

 

Ghosts from beyond

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20150131_122204I thought if I went without a fight, they might have mercy on me

A silent tear drop is all I succumbed to

When I grow up I want a six foot wall around my house

Six foot high, six foot deep

With an enormous gate and a vicious dog

That’s the image I pin on my head rest

The dream I keep alive as they hurl me away

The first and last picture I see each day

Not some white picket fence

That’s someone else’s dream

Other people’s blood spilled just for that dream

I am not about to disrespect my forefather’s struggle

For they sacrificed more than they had to

For my freedom of choice not to flee

And be a parasite latching onto someone else’s dream

That is why I keep my dream alive

Working towards my six foot wall and dagga  house

Doesn’t mean I have to plunge my roots where I feed

I admit I might seem to duck the tide

But I am sticking to my original plan

I think because I went without a fight

They tied the chains twice as hard on me

God knows I try so hard not to disappoint you:

The spirits in the wind, fallen blood of my blood

You just do not understand

They have us by the hook, through their music and television

I know your blood boils as you witness us get so lost in the crowd

Yes I hear your echos, shadows I feel your anguish and fear your wrath

But my voice alone is not doing your purpose justice

I wish they could you call them back to the motherland

To rather die an honest people than to become of which we are not entitled to

I have tried before and failed oh spirit of my fathers

Now I have been blessed again

But I find myself falling for the mistakes I should learn from

I am afraid I will fail you again

After all you have done for me, an extraordinary love you had

Wipe my tears and grant me strength

As i write on skew words

Giving dimension to words you whisper to me at night

What if I become my words

Will you forgive my past sins

Yes I hear you loud and clear

I will keep up the fight fulfill my dream

Build my six foot wall around my house

And breed that dog to keep them out

Hopefully that will keep their clutch at bay

But if, or rather, when modernity comes for me or blood of my blood

We promise to fight with all we have.

 

Dear She-Cray-Cray

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DSCF0139Its that time again; after midnight and you have probably put your phone on silent to ensure some beauty sleep, oh so I tell myself. I decide to take the woman’s voice and leave a message. I know you have work tomorrow morning but I just finished my night shift. Its been a few days since we have conversed, a few weeks since I have called and a few months since we saw each other. I know I play a heavy hand in this. You will probably see the missed call and shrug it off, not because you do not care, but just cause. There was a time when you would call me back, even use your family land-line to call me, remember? I even saved it because I kept confusing it with call backs after job interviews. I know its mainly my fault so I thought I would call tonight and catch up on so much, I have a back log that dates back to December hey. I made good tips tonight and bought tonnes of airtime, promised myself we were going to talk for hours. Can’t wait to see you; for a short while before I leave.

Tonight I thought i should remind you of a couple of between the lines forgotten facts. To maybe remind you the worth of your tears, those when they fall sadden the earth because they do not belong there. More fun facts like how beautiful you are even without a filter. That fr the longest time ever we made Marcel’s frozen yogurt awesome. You should never live in the past, unless you are reliving moments when we laughed till we cried, that was mostly you though, and stop punishing yourself for being human and making mistakes.

Last but not least you made it okay for me to dress with no purpose and made sure I always had a dance partner. You make the best collages; when i make it you will be in charge of my media coverage, I can hear you roar with laughter just after I say that.

If this were a two way conversation, I were going to make you pinky promise never to forget me. That no matter what life threw at us, we would not give up, I won’t if you won’t. I will never stop calling  just as long as you never stop answering. Let’s be young and hopeful to defy all odds against us.