Day 19 of Poetry Challenge

0

1 (5)

Write about how you see yourself ,personality,name,looks,whatever you think shows who you are.

Sometimes I know, sometimes I don’t. I go though what I call ‘shedding myself’. It is a form of peeling that has happened not necessarily periodically, it is haphazard and I welcome it any day. Very few friendships have survived this transition, I guess I have met a lot of seasonal people who I have loved, but never halt my growth spurt for . I am selfish like that. I sincerely believe that I am ever growing because I am constantly seeking knowledge. We might rave today but don’t be surprised if I never show up to such a scene ever again. I never apologise for moving on and I love being alone. I like climbing trees and hugging them and what I wear usually reflects my mood.

Nothing and no one can make me remove my pajamas or wear shoes if I don’t feel like it. I almost never feel any pressure to do anything outside my comfort zone. I think it is very difficult to negotiate with me because I hardly ever compromise, unless I have vetted you and it is absolutely necessary. The fact that I love a good Chai latte says more than I would love to admit.

Advertisements

Day 3 of the Poetry Month Challenge: 13 reasons why

0

 

IMG_20170925_165532

Courtesy of the Zeitz Museum  Cape Town South Africa

Imagine you’re looking through a collection of short stories. One of the titles catches your interest. That’s the story you want to read first. What might the title be? Invent a title that would make you want to read the story. Now, write a story to go with that title…

13 reasons why he left you…

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you fare him leaving on account that the relationship felt like an emotional burden . I tried to keep the depression and anxiety under wraps. A pretty good job you reckon?

3. He had full disclosure, he knew what he was getting himself into. Did a piss job of it, always trying to sweep it under the rug, I am real you know. Satanyoko.

That is not fair. I mean it is such taboo to speak of such in our culture, later on finding yourself  in love with a depressed flame Lilly. Almost as if there is no vocabulary to soothe my condition into existence. By the way this has nothing to do with you, you are real, I of all people now that.

Hapana apa. Excuse after excuse. He should have manned up, it’s not like he did not have baggage so no, moving along. “He found the relationship overwhelmingly negative”, nonsensical! We are a bundle of joy. Seka zvako.

I agree. That is an invalid argument. I mean, we had things under control last year, it was not as bad as we thought it would be.

If by ‘not as bad’ you mean we kept postponing our own pain just so we could hold his hand because he felt too overwhelmed by his life to deal with our ‘drama’and we ended up back where we started, the razor and I, then yes,you are spot on. All for what? More wounds to cover up. Just great! The things you do for love. Haya.

I thought it noble at the time, blind self destruction, sigh. Moving along, he left because the long term goals were incompatible. Not likely. We celebrated our differences and just wanted to bring the best out of each other.

Bingo !Finally some headway. You did not want kids and he already named his first born a unisex name, that is set in stone, might as well start embroidering little outfits. I was looking forward to the disastrous conversation about adoption. Vakomana, this was doomed from the get go. I think the final straw was laughing at us potentially having a vegetarian dog. That was a clear warning sign.

I guess. I mean he never could take my religious convictions seriously, maybe I do not express them serious enough. Sigh. I was thinking of giving him maybe just one biological child, adopt the rest, felt like a realistic compromise. I guess.

My time is money, okay so he left because he could not be himself. Invalid! He left because that was his true nature, abandonment.

Well he was always my favorite jerk, consistently, without fail.

You need to hear yourself sometime. Walking delusional optimism , sas’kamu.

At least I am honest with myself. You act like you were not relieved by his presence,knowing you did not have to worry about me. Next reason please, oh my. He left because the sex life slowed down or even stopped.

A born again christian with body image issues, shall I say more. Sexiness eludes your understanding mwanangu.

Not my field of expertise, I get it! Okay next one, he left because he got tired of being compared to other men.

There was never much to compare him to. It’s been one train wreck after another. This was the best you ever had, just look at this mess I am having to clean after. And for what? What do you have to show for it? He never held you like you wanted, but you spent all that time looking to unlock the secrets of his mind and body. He is out there living the dream. Fresh graduate, crisp dreams, and here we are washing faded ones. Stop crying, you did this.

Fine! We cannot even go through 13 reasons why he left without falling apart. Are you happy? Is this what you wanted, when i am miserable you get more stage time right? Take the reins, see how you fare. You are horrible, I just wanted to heal.

By wasting time looking for answers you already had. Iwe! Wasting year after year, even going the extra mile of praying for his successful ascension to the overseas, even though you knew he would leave you behind. Kuda kunzii? Look what we have instead, he thinks nothing of us, washed up moon huntress, struggling in some third world country. You can’t even pronounce the university he went to. Did you forget where you came from?What does he know about burying a father along with your childhood. Ndiudze? What does he know about consoling a grieving widow who happens to be your mother? I am taking over. No more wasting time with these little boys whilst mother weeps yearning for our success to heal her, and reward her pain. 

 

 

My battles are not your entertainment

0

Here I am, your everyday Zimbabwean girl. I am a typical story really; left home, much like most people, to work and study. So far so good, only because I set some ground rules until now.

First and foremost, I am all about Pan African ideologies but more at a fundamental level. That is to say we are all one people who all understand the concept of Ubuntu and i ignore borders as much as I can. Let’s take a moment to reflect on how much less xenophobic attacks would occur especially in South Africa if Africans saw each other as one people, not foreigners.

Secondly, I do not talk about home politics for fun. It gets me all riled up if we ever really talk about it. People’s favorite question since the recent ‘coup’ is “Where are you from?” Tata ma’chance hoping I am Zimbabwean. Well I am not comfortable with people hunting me down for entertainment, sounds exaggerated but how many of you actually ask a stranger coming from an impoverished country their thoughts on the home situation out of genuine concern. Most of you get the kicks because you get to hear it from ‘a live source’ . If you think about it, most of us have been gone so long, we are actually watching BBC news just like you. Some do still have family they talk to if they didn’t move them out of the country already.

I speak for myself when I say I prefer talking politics with serious game changers or people who are woke and see the bigger picture. I however never shy away from correcting misinformed simpletons if hopefully they are not so ignorant that I deem the task a waste of energy.

In conclusion, because I know people will always ask, I have mixed feelings about the tension going on. I am unable to make an assessment because there’s too much speculation going about :I am happy for as long as there are minimal civilian casualties. I am waiting this out because I have been Zimbabwean long enough to have the politics exhaust my emotions. When you have my state of mind towards the matter your emotions start giving you wrong signals. You get angry at the wrong people and always get your hopes crushed after every election. So if I am not willing to share any further thoughts on this matter with you, ask yourself why. Trust me I am in no way ashamed of my country, I have just grown to understand the human Psyche a bit more. Happy politics reading.

Sunflower Day 2017

0

 

IMG_20170909_084140

  My TOPE (Tube-Of-Hope)

I first stumbled upon the Sunflower fund in 2014 after a failed blood donation left me frustrated. I do not know why but my sort of charity is primarily health related, I do what I can. There are a lot of ways to give back but I was particularly struck by the Sunflower fund’s focus on building an efficient South African Bone Marrow Registry.

Why a bone marrow registry? Well we all know that cancer has become rampant across all ages and races, one way which was found to help is bone marrow transplantation. Bone marrow transplantation and peripheral blood stem cell transplantation are procedures that restore stem cells destroyed by some types of cancer, and other blood diseases like sickle cell anaemia. The odds of finding a match are 1:100 000, so there is an urgent need to get as many people (not necessarily South Africans) as possible tested, evaluated and registered because with cancer, you honestly never know.

It takes just two test tubes of blood to become registered as a stem cell donor, but it the tissue typing of each sample at the required molecular (DNA) level currently costs The Sunflower Fund R2 000 per test. Donors are asked to make a voluntary contribution to this expense, but most of these costs are covered by The Sunflower Fund’s fundraising efforts.

Once the blood samples have been analysed, the individuals’ genetic information is then stored on the SABMR’s (South Africa Bone Marrow Registry) searchable database until the prospective donor turns 60 years old, which is the mandatory retirement age.

IMG_20170909_083306

#I AM HOPE

So let’s say for some reason you are unable to donate some stem cells, worry not. This is where the Sunflower Fund gets creative. For some years they have released bands and other items available for purchase usually from any Pick n Pay across the country, which goes to the fund. You can also make a direct donation on their website  http://www.sunflowerfund.org.zaThey also run school competitions to get children involved in the fight against cancer.

This year there are the Topes on sale in different colors, they are multi purpose so the whole family can join in. They can be used a sweatband, mask, scarf , etc and if you happen to be my size, you can wear it as a boob tube like I did in the featured photos.I like the I AM HOPE caption that comes on them, it appreciates the little you spend and how that is part of a bigger picture that can save a life. 15 September 2017 is Sunflower Day, save the date and look into what you can do to support an organisation set on saving as many lives as possible.

IMG_20170909_083850

love how I made this to work for me

Women’s month hangover

0

I took to the underground, deep depths of my day to day routine to find out what I am most proud of as a young woman in Africa. I took to my own reflection to get answers of whether or not I am doing past struggles for equality justice. 

I am trying but there is still room for improvement. I still need to find a more positive response to those questions, you know, the ones your male friends always assume you have answers to. The ones that go like ‘why do you women…’ it’s never a good question. It groups us all into a little cluster and now I am judged by another sister’s actions. Like now I am healing someone else’s damage as I hold my brother/friend in the bosom of whatever selfish actions women took.

I am lending cash to a brother who’s girl won’t hear no for an answer to having her manicure session sponsored, that cannot be cancelled because your understanding of love includes his wallet.

I am babysitting nieces and nephews of women walking away from overwhelming ‘drama’ of the consequences of not only your choice in men but using the child card to get him to stay, only to find out he wasn’t the one. Ehhh excuse me but if you felt the need to get pregnant to pin him down then you were done for to start with.

I am exhausted by fake smiles and sexist comments that are whispered afterwards, because I prefer alternative clothing. I am tired of friendships that only last until the next best guy comes by. Also my shoulders hurt from all the sisters and brothers I have to console after having been backstabbed at work by some female who found a short cut to a means.

As a young woman, I have every right to call out some inconsiderate behavior (to say the least) expressed by some women out there. Some justify their actions because it’s towards men, and apparently all men are trash, but sister that man is my brother and a good man and I have to clean up your mess. Own up to your struggles, don’t beg for anything and nothing worthwhile comes from cheating your way to it.

Women’s month hangover thoughts.

Day 30

0

What makes you happy?

Knowing that this post completes my 30 day blog challenge makes me happy. With other life commitments it was very difficult to keep track but here I am at the finish line.

I am working towards living a life where I give more than I receive. I want my every breathe to count for something and that line of thought alone makes me happy.

Making my few favorite people laugh also brings immeasurable joy. When it is all said and done, witnessing the little man succeed against all odds is also quite satisfying, I am a sucker for a real life happy ending.

Thank you to everyone who has been on this journey with me. Keep reading ☺

Day 28

0

What is your zodiac sign and does it for your personality?

I do not believe in the horoscopes and hence I do not know which sign I am. I don’t believe it possible to truly believe in God and the horoscope. For a better break down of my beliefs please follow this link:
http://www.adventistreview.org/church-news/story4396-signs-of-the-zodiac-change-god-doesnt

Day 27

0

Do you want to be famous?

No I don’t want fame. I do not believe it is as glamorous as we are led to believe. There’s nothing worse than having mush- minded individuals following your every move and passing judgement, as if they’re done and dusted in the art of life.

I want to be a remarkable poet amongst other things and if fame comes with it then so be it. But no self respecting person should seek fame. I am honestly convinced that it is quite similar to selling your soul to the devil.

Be humble , keep your head down and achieve your dreams. I’m old school like that.

Day 26

0

If you could rid the world of one thing what would it be?

It has to be selfishness. People say there’s a good kind of selfishness, I beg to differ. The only reason people feel justified in putting themselves first is because they’re surrounded by people who are in turn selfish, hence they find themselves drained and empty inside. The whole ‘do you’ movement came to life to save people from a selfish and inconsiderate society that will always try to bring you down, regardless of how little they know about your struggle.

So if I had the blessing of the power to rid the world of something, selfishness would be key. There wouldn’t be hippies because it’d now be a norm for people to respect the environment and other people’s energies.

There wouldn’t be glorified humanitarians because we would all think of the next person, before dumping a baby, using tax payers money for personal use, dropping a bomb or starting a war. Once you remove selfishness and substitute it with respect, I believe the world would be better, almost of an utopian state that we can only dream about.

Day 25

0

The last dream you remember:

It was last night actually. My colleague had come back to work, he just recently survived a hectic accident, so I was really happy and got him a cookie from my favorite bakery, Charly’s bakery. That’s about it. I’m glad my colleague is recovering and maybe this dream is a sign that I’m going to see him soon.