Shadow of a sister

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Dear Little Sister

I write from where it is I was supposed to come back from.

At least that was the original idea, that is

Climb up and help you up to the view

Though my view is not the best yet, I still feel the need to share the little I have

I somehow feel it is brighter than where I left you

Not that I am all you have, but it is my duty to hold your hand

Just as others before me have

It has been long since we have talked

I have picked up the phone a couple of times

Believing I had the courage to bear your voice

And the emptiness of our conversations

Because all I want to do is breakdown and cry

And ask for your forgiveness

Because I do not know where to begin

How is school, do you daydream about anyone?

What is it that you really want to do with your life

Not what circumstances have dictated to you

My mind often wonders down such pathways

Because I am and will forever be your sister

I keep a picture of the three of us on my study desk

Remember the one of Si, you and I

It solemnly keeps the guilt away

The guilt of depriving you the love of an older sister

And then I get on this notion that I am undermining your agility

Never mind about it all

I will not ask for your conduct details or anything

For me to speak of my adventures hiking

Is to accredit memories of us running around the yard

For I am not whole without you

My efforts are better spent working towards

Finding my way back home.

 

 

 

 

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