Vague Shadows

DSCF8705I see you every where

Living memories staring me in the eye

I never have the courage to look back

Because I am terrified to accept that my reality is built around past memories

And I continuously rub shoulders with people I have not seen in years

Maybe this is my call back home, to where my mother buried my ruguvhute

She mentioned it the other day, as I explained I would not be home for the third year in a role

The uproar her heart felt echoed through the wavelengths

I was tired and I am afraid to be tired when I go back

Because I was tired of pausing my dreams to make way for aristocracies and dictactorship

Like so many before me, who till today are just vague shadows of who they were meant to be

But I am also tired of this work-away

They do not speak to me in a language I understand

And I have lost the right to correct them

The moment I crossed the border

I am fatigued by constant thoughts that run down the conscious version of myself

I am weary of who I have allowed them to reduce me to be

Just another girl in need of refugee from a country that cannot aid her

But has molded the art you see in her

I am drained by the corporation that I slave for with no recognition

Knowing with my next mistake I lose financial stability

Recognition is not the word of the day, Appreciation is

To master an art in which you suffer in silence as they degrade you to just a cleaner

Me: an Undergraduate student tied down by an education I cannot afford to have or lose

Such are the thoughts that run me down and feed my yearning to go home

And cure my mind left unappreciated and thorned

 

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