Blowing Smoke

20150703_121847I am angry, I am drowning

Not sure if I am drowning because I am angry

Or if I am angry because I have given up

Hence I am overwhelmed because I slumped my shoulders

Because when I get back home from work and school

All I can look forward to are a few messages

Of love from around the world

Which I ponder over in the midst of incense

But what frustrates me the most is that I have no one to blame but myself

Its the spirit of adventure that led me to fly my immature wings

When I relate my story I speak of free will, adventure

And taking charge of ones destiny

Behind the scenes it is just me and him blowing cigarette smoke

And dreaming of laying parallel to God’s wings

I do not talk about the friends who continue living their lives for others

And have become blind to my anguish

Or the ones that forever judge my imperfections

Kissing up so that I have a message or two to greet me after a long day

But truth be told I stopped painting the real picture

When I realised we  were not even on the same page

So I smoke and I drink and I ask pictures I have of you if you were ever around

Because I no longer see you in the passenger seat of our road trip

Misadventures of a free spirited girl

Whose only regret is making plans with those are not  free


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