Realities I lay with intimately

I met Don as I was slaving away to salvage what was left of my dignity. I ran away from home because everyone was better, everyone was right. Three months later that’s when I saw him, I still do not know what his eyes look like, always swaging it up in his original Ray Bans. Mighty fine he looked, mighty small I felt, He gave off that intimidating smell, the odour of R2000 kind of cologne, wow that’s impressive, wow I was such a child. Taken in by such big little things. Towering Don invited me to his birthday party, flattered I was, as a hostess for a quarter of the price of his cologne; not too bad for a girl salvaging a stolen dignity. Hostess I was at that party, ran my feet off, worth the money it was. I brought in drink after drink for his well looked after entourage. I saw the looks those women gave me; like the help they had left back home in Dunoon. Well that night I was and I just told myself I wont be this in a couple of years, problem is surviving the humiliation. I  am going to drive past them in a couple of years in the next version of the BMW their sugar-daddy’s chauffer them in now.

But that is not what life is about, but that’s the line of thought I have been stuck with since encountering Don. After the party he asked for my number so we could “hang out”, NAWAWO!!!! Hang out???? I don’t hang out with people I just met, every night after work I look forward to watching re-runs of X-Files with my sister because we cool like that. Give him I did,but but , I inevitably compared myself to the ladies I had been serving. Oh my word, yes I hate makeup, I don’t own a pair of heels and which shops sell True religion jeans. Yes just like back home I did not have straight As, not once did I go home with more than 7 points, I wasn’t a prominent member of the church choir, good Lord I did not have ant college application approved of, so basically I had nothing, So there I was in Don’s sights and feeling smaller than anything . Call me he did, wanted to meet up. So I got prepared, bought me the best of  what half of my savings could cover me up with. Mighty fine I felt, the first time in years, almost didn’t know the feeling creeping up was happiness, joy. There I waited for his phone call that never came and the one time experience I never had. So I went to bed that night feeling worse than ever, with just my morals to keep me warm and try make me happy. So much for the dignified Rebel.  


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