Broken Reality

I see a part of her die everyday

And that is why I stay away from home

Because its walls of safety are disintegrating along with her disappearance

She still hides it from me

With layers of make up

And award winning performances when in pain

I asked of her the same I did a year ago

But to her I am demanding more than she can give today

That’s more evidence as I plead my case

Sometimes I flare away from reality

and go along with the act

But the more she hides it, the further it defiles my memories of her

Or rather I still live in the past

Where she conquered the world with her brave face

And electrifying smile

I am not quick to accept that it is slowly dispersing

I then embark on a mission to molest the child in me

With multiple tattoos and countless piercings

With the boys nights out that could break her heart

At least what is left of it

Just so I can grow up faster

So she can witness it first hand

And not die with the anticipation

I wish I were better, She deserves better

For she was every woman in one

And now one in every woman is following her boulevard

She was more than the woman I needed

As I pack my bags for a journey of a few months

Thoughts of her are what back track in my mind

I indignantly continue paying no attention

she has lost her reason to fight on, a reason to plead with me

If only she knew I do this for her

Because I want to preserve her memory

I desperately want to live in that alternate reality

Where she is still my reason to live

I have to live in that world

For what am I without her

Not just her but her wisdom

Not just her embrace but her love

And so when the day comes when her body finally catches on

To the fact that her fiery soul died years ago

I know I will not shed a tear

Before you judge me understand this:

As you enjoyed the worldly pastures

I watched her die everyday for years

So that to me will be her long awaited rest

For now she manoeuvres silently between the living and the dead

I will continue my travels and be judged

For the pain I face is mine alone    

 

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